Your child is so well behaved!

We went out to eat last night, at a place that's not all that kid-friendly. John did really well, especially under the circumstances. He did a great job of using his "inside voice" and kept his toy trains mostly to himself.

He was a hit with the ladies who run the place too, who thought he was cute. He even let them tickle his chin - yes, he let strangers touch him. It was pretty unbelieveable.

The best came toward the end, when the people at the table next to us got up to leave. The gentleman asked us how old he was, and then said "He's very well behaved. Congratulations."

Um, right.....

Christmas trees apparently don't go on top of Mommy's car

We went to get a Christmas tree on Sunday. Daddy's Truck is in the shop, and so we took Mommy's Car. All was well. We pulled in the lot. We got out, and started looking at trees. Burrito thought this was great, and ran around looking at trees too.

Once we made a selection, our worries began. Last year, he freaked out when they used the chain saw to make a fresh cut in the wood. Not this year, though. He was a trooper, and just covered his ears. Nor did he freak out when we went into the crowded building to pay for it. He was great. He even said "Hi" to a random stranger, and hung out by the outdoor fire pit they had set up.

But nobody, and I mean NOBODY, puts a tree on Mommy's Car!

The helpful gentleman at Meadows Farms Nursery bundled up our tree and gently placed it on the roof. He then began tying the tree to the roof rack.

This was, apparently, unacceptable.

John asked what he was doing? I explained that he was putting the tree on the car so we could take it home. John, unsatisfied with the answer, began crying. Loudly. Then screaming. NONONONONONONO!!!!!!

I put him in his car seat and gave him some of his toys to play with, thinking that this would distract him. Nope. He clearly saw through me, and started crying EVEN LOUDER. Joyce came dashing out of the building, probably in hopes that whatever was making that noise wasn't John, but no such luck.

He didn't calm down until the man stepped away from the car and we were on our way. And when we did get home, he got out and calmly pointed out the tree on top of Mommy's Car.

Okay, he still doesn't like the dentist

What do you get when you take 1 autistic kid, add 1 part touch-sensation issues, and add 1 part noise-sensation issues? You get yet another dentist visit from Hell!

He knew he was in for a tough afternoon right away. I picked him up at school, and told him we were going to the doctor. Once safely buckled in his seat, I gave him the real story, that this was a special doctor called the dentist. He clearly remembered the word dentist -- and remembered that it was a bad thing. He covered his mouth, and said "No, no count the teeth." This is what we told him last time. We told him the dentist just wanted to count his teeth.

Once we arrived, he was in partial anxiety mode. He was nervous, but I was able to distract him with toys and general observations like "Hey, look at that big truck." Inside, there were more toys to play with, and the big fish tank. However, once they called his name, it was back to the old days! Down on the floor, kicking, crying, and covering his mouth.

We go to a special dentist office, one that specializes in autistic children. This is a good thing, because no other dentist would tolerate John. He required 2 nurses, along with me, to keep him in check. Even then, he kept wriggling a hand free and covering his mouth. The little wand that rotates didn't help, either. It's supposed to polish his teeth, but I think it ended up polishing his nose, cheek, and shirt.

Once it was all over, we celebrated by getting some ice cream. However, the experience clearly made its mark on him. When we put him to bed last night, he started crying again, and saying "No dentist." I'll be glad when he's older and we can explain dental visits to him. Once he understands what's happening, he tends to be calmer. The dentist, for him, it just terrifying, and he cries like he's scared. Not fun.

"I want to go to Florida"

This will be a short post, because that's all he had to say yesterday. When I went to pick him up, all the teachers and kids asked me why he wants to go to Florida. Then John got up from one teacher's lap and came over to me. He smiled, and told me he wanted to go to Florida. When I explained that we were not, in fact, going to Florida, the smile faded.

All the way home, he wanted to go to Florida. I offered Virginia instead, but he declined. We saw Mom at home, and he tried his request on her. No dice.

So, what's in Florida that sparked his interest? A pool, apparently. Joyce's parents were here visiting, and John had a good time, since these were nice adults who didn't tell him No or make him go to bed. He learned, as all kids do, that Mom and Dad = no fun, but Grandparents = fun. However, upon leaving, the grandparents departed from the script (which, as with so many transitions, has to be carefully managed in John's case) and mentioned that they had a pool at home. Now, for the first 3 years of his life, John looked at a pool the way you or I might look at, say, a vat of battery acid. This summer, though, we had a breakthrough with the pool, thanks in large part to the folks at day care. So, it was with sadness that we saw the pools in town close after Labor Day.

So, now, we're going to Florida "soon." Of course, "soon" is probably several months in this case, but he doesn't know the difference. However, he's working on it. He asked me last night "Is it 'soon' yet?"

Pictures!

Okay, I got off my butt and uploaded some pictures.

Halloween night:
John as Thomas the Tank Engine
Mom with John

Our hiking trip to Lewis Falls, in the Shenandoah National Park:
Look at that big rock!
Joyce shows John something-or-other
"Help me up"
Our goal: Lewis Falls

John at the pumpkin patch:They had a moon bounce (which he loved), a big slide atop a giant hay pyramid (which he not only loved, but on which he found an instant playmate), not to mention piles of pumpkins and a tractor.
Head first
Atop the hay pyramid
John and his playmate climb up to the top
John's pumpkin selections (Dad's right leg and arm make a cameo here)
"What I really want to do is go on that moon bounce behind me"
Yay!
Yay again!
Yay some more!
The hay maze
Four seconds of quiet
That's a noisy tractor...
... with big wheels

At home, among the leaves:
John on the back deck
John taking the car downstairs
Do you have any idea how much work went into building that swingset, by the way?
More John, more leaves
He's cute, which is why we keep him
See those leaves? I had raked the whole yard the day before
John, leaves, and his loot from the pumpkin patch

And, finally, we put him to work on those leaves:
On leaf patrol
Still on the lookout for leaves to pick up
Look at me, I have like 3 or 4 leaves in my wagon. Miller time!

Chores

Lately, we've decided that we should start giving Burrito some chores. By "chore," I mean that we will give him a small and fairly simple task to do, one that won't require a lot of cleanup on our part when it goes wrong.

John being John, these chores have their own unique flavor. For one thing, John has a steady supply of vehicles - cars, trucks, and especially buses, nearby at all times, just in case the opportunity to drive over a bump presents itself. This sometimes leads to complications, although it can be a source of amusement. Last night, he folded napkins at dinner by driving a truck over the crease.

This morning, he began a new chore: filling up the cats' bowl with food. This involves going to the shelf, getting the tupperware thingy filled with cat food, carrying it over to the cats' bowl, opening it, and pouring the food into the bowl. He did fairly well, although we were unable to convince him to let go of his truck while carrying the food container. Silly us. If we had thought about it, we would have seen his plan. It went as follows:

Step 1. Carry in the cat food.
Step 2. Fill cat bowl.
Step 3. Spill cat food on the floor.
Step 4. "Look at all those bumps!"
Step 5. Drive truck over cat food on floor.

Just another case of adults being outsmarted by a kid.

He is taking this chore thing to heart, though. As I type, he's sitting on the floor here in the office, looking at a home improvement how-to book that was on the shelf. He has the page open to something about building a deck. My guess is that if he nails the boards in just right, he'll have a complete off-road course for this cars.

Trick or Treat Please?

In previous years, Halloween has been something of a mess for us. John doesn't like wearing hats for the most part, or things like jackets or such, which makes costumes hard. He also doesn't like interacting with people he doesn't know, although he's much better about this than he used to be. We've actually seen him start a conversation with other kids.

For Halloween, until this year, we limited our trick-or-treating to people we knew, and who knew about John, people who would understand why John wouldn't look at them directly, or talk to them, or want to wear his costume, or cry if they talked to him. However, since we just moved to our new place in July, we decided to give trick-or-treating a fresh try.

We began weeks ago, talking about his costume and trying to get him to try it on. No dice. We took the costume to his occupational therapist, and she got him to put it on. They also talked about wearing a costume in school, and at day care, and everywhere else. We talked costumes with the other kids in the neighborhood. We practiced saying "Trick or Treat" and I'm proud to say that my kid voluntarily added Please to his request. He still seemed nervous about putting on a costume, but we felt like he might give it a try.

So, on Halloween night, we all got in our costumes and headed out for a night of trial and error. John went as Thomas the Tank Engine, my wife went as a cat, and I went as a deadbeat dad, complete with beer. Truth be told, the beer was my entire costume.

House #1, John went up and rang the doorbell, then got very nervous when our neighbor approached. When the moment of truth came, his line was not "Trick or treat please." Burrito decided to inform our neighbor about his costume, by which I mean that all he said was "Thomas." He tentatively took the piece of candy, said thank you after being prompted by Deadbeat Dad, and we left. He wanted to eat the candy right away, but coped well when we told him to wait.

House #2, he started to warm up. He got his line out, prompted, at the right time, and thought the pumpkins decorating the front porch were interesting. Had they been less interesting, he might have even delivered his line to the homeowner. The pumpkin did not respond to his "Trick or Treat please" request, but he scored some candy anyway. This candy thing really started to get his attention.

House #3 featured a neighbor with a matching orange pumpkin bucket. John's a clever kid, though, and right away he noticed that whereas his bucket only had 3 pieces of candy in it, this other bucket was completely full. John decided he wanted to switch buckets.

Houses 4-6 saw John go to the door, say nothing, and simply reach for candy. Going to house 7, we passed some other kids, and John took an unhealthy interest in what was in their buckets. He was really getting the hang of this! However, he was getting tired, and my costume was out of beer, so we headed for home.

Once we got there, though, John seemed like he was getting a second wind, and we decided that we'd go visit our old neighborhood since he was doing so well. These folks hadn't seen him actually wearing a costume before, so we got in the car and headed to the old neighborhood.

I mentioned that we recently moved. In the month before this move, we prepped John by explaining to him the idea of Old House and New House. We would explain that we would be moving to New House, and that we'd be leaving Old House. For weeks after moving, John would, from time to time, ask to go to Old House. I would patiently explain that this was called "trespassing" and that we could not.

Well, when we got to the old neighborhood, we went to Old House where John forgot his Halloween line. The new owners opened the door, and John said "Old House" and invited himself in. The new owners were very good about it, and commented on how cute he was. I will file this away, in case I'm ever looking for a buyer for him.

So, in the end, Halloween was a success. John has a bucket full of candy and he had a great time. And my old neighbors, amused at seeing me dressed as Deadbeat Dad for the 4th year in a row, kept my costume cool and refreshing, if you know what I mean.